Lard Bucket List

What I want to do that my fatness currently prohibits :


Sit in the booth. Not even think about asking for a table. DONE!


Get rid of my current health conditions:

Having a pannus :(
Skin boils on said pannus.
Getting closer to resolving my diverticulitis. DONE!
Reducing my cancer risk.
Sleep Apnea
Shortness of Breath DONE!
Joint pain DONE!
Stress incontinence. DONE!
Cardiac arrhythmia DONE!
Swelling of the hands and ankles. DONE!

And---


Walk without feeling my belly bounce from thigh to thigh. DONE!

Riding the Go-Karts without the trauma of barely fitting in the seatbelt.  If I gain 10 more pounds I'm not gonna fit! DONE!


My Go-kart going faster because it's carrying less weight. DONE!

Getting checked out by anyone of the opposite sex. Yeah, I'm married, but still... DONE!

Being able to tell if I'm in need of a bikini shave without looking in a mirror.

Fit into an airline seat without an extender or buying two seats. DONE!

Ride the Go-Karts without having to have the attendant help me buckle. DONE!

Play at the amusement parks with the kids. DONE!

Go to Disney and not be afraid to look at the photos afterward. DONE!

Stop staring at the weight limits on elevators. "How many of ME can this hold?" DONE!

Not have to put a sock between my flopped over belly and my pubic area after a shower to let the skin dry between so I don't get a rash. DONE!

No more swim dresses. DONE!

Pass up clothing because I don't like it, not because they don't have 3X or 4X (or 5X) sizes. DONE!

Be able to pass a full length mirror or plate glass window and not recoil in horror. DONE!

Weigh less than my husband. DONE!

Be picked up, physically. Be swept off of my feet.

Cross my legs (and have it be easy to do). DONE!

Run. The other day my daughter said, Mom, I have never seen you run before! (I was racing to the grocery store -- and I nearly fell), but I used to run all the time. DONE!

Wear a shirt that does not come down to mid-thigh. DONE!

Not be hot all the time. I will gladly put on a sweater. DONE!

SKI - I don't ski because it's hard to ski when you can't see your feet, not to mention ski pants aren't big enough for me. I want to ski again. -- DONE!  I have realized that I don't want to ski. But I did go ice skating and that was awesome!

Not get stuck in a bathtub, again. I am not talking about a toe in the spigot. I got stuck in the tub and could not raise myself out. I have showered ever since. DONE!

Tuck in my shirts without feeling self-conscious. DONE!

Walk without running out of breath after just ten or fifteen minutes. DONE!

Be able to get into more than just one sexual position. Yeah, I went there. DONE!

Being able to stand seeing photos and videos of myself without cringing. DONE!

Climb stairs with one foot on each stair.  DONE!

Be at peace with who I am.

Stop scale obsessing.

Get into an eating habit that doesn't require logging every bite.

Stop feeling weird when I hug people, like they will feel my fat.

Run just for the sheer hell of it.

Feel really terribly sexy.

Stop feeling like I have to hide. 

 Not worry about donating old clothes -- in case I relapse. 

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