Nightmares

Last night i had cancer nightmares. Note:  In real life,  when they removed my stomach, they found a GIST tumor.

In my dream, they'd gone in for my endoscopy  (which,  in real life in scheduled for August to make sure there's no more tumors) and found two kinds of advanced cancer, leukemia and some type of back cancer. Maybe kidney cancer.

An old boss of mine was in the dream. He gave me some prize winning homemade ice cream,  which melted (in real life he died of liver cancer 17 years ago) beforeicould eat it.

I woke up upset, didn't want to get up,  prayed to not dream about cancer and had another dream about cancer.

I dreamed I was trying to pack for vacation and also trying to tell my kids that I had cancer. Especially Charlie,  my son who has autism.

There was a piece of cheesecake that I had and didn't want anyone to eat and I was afraid they'd eat it.

I was trying to box it up while they were trying to take it from me.

All of these elements in the dream are things that I have seen or experienced lately. I saw a man in Costco yesterday who looked just like my former boss. I also considered buying cheesecake while I was at Costco but passed it up. I had said to myself it would be for the family but I didn't want to have it in the house because I'm not the only one in the house with a weight problem.

I've been having a whole lot of problem with cravings about sweets and yesterday, on one of the Facebook pages, I was talking about the endoscopy and how I had to have another one in August.

So all these elements come together and come out in my sleep. Even the trip that I was taking was actually the Disney trip that we're planning for May.