The DIE in DIEt.

Today I am feeling low. My energy is low, I am tired of eating protein. I want candy. I want to shove carbs into my face or at least go out and buy a lot of stuff. Shopping or eating. Either one would do.

And I have the butt bleeds again. I have one persistent hemorrhoid and whenever I eat too much of something (I have not identified it), probably protein, I get a bad case of the butt bleeds. Then it's back to wiping with Tucks and swabbing the deck with Preparation H.

I do have a GI doctor, so it's ok, I have had it checked out, it's an external little bleeder that he says not to provoke by getting constipated.  Will 80 grams of protein constipate you?

Oh yes.

It's the weekend, which is not, to me, the joy that it is to you worker bees. Weekends mean that everyone is here and my stress is through the roof. I had to drive my son into the city to work and pick him up and it is in the twenties here. I am cold, tired and hungry.

I am also tired and forcing myself these past 4 days to use the CPAP even though it's a misery for me. I have another sleep titration set up for mid-April. I am hoping to get through this readjustment without having to keep that appointment.

I feel like I am dying. My hunger is back with a vengeance.  I want a solid food that is not protein. I know what God meant in the bible which talks about when the children of Israel were in the wilderness and they didn't want the Manna from heaven, they wanted meat:

^{Psalm 106: 
7} Our fathers understood not thy wonders in Egypt; they remembered not the multitude of thy mercies; but provoked him at the sea, even at the Red sea.
⁸ Nevertheless he saved them for his name's sake, that he might make his mighty power to be known.
⁹ He rebuked the Red sea also, and it was dried up: so he led them through the depths, as through the wilderness.
¹⁰ And he saved them from the hand of him that hated them, and redeemed them from the hand of the enemy.
¹¹ And the waters covered their enemies: there was not one of them left.
¹² Then believed they his words; they sang his praise.
¹³ They soon forgat his works; they waited not for his counsel:
¹⁴ But lusted exceedingly in the wilderness, and tempted God in the desert.
¹⁵ And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul.

I think they had the butt bleeds. God sent them Quail to eat. I would gladly take the Manna and not grumble.

My eating is out of balance. I need to get some balance. I need to bring some foods other than protein into my diet. Now.