The Day "Of"

Well, here I am at the computer at 1 am the day of surgery. The cat woke me up.

Then the router had a brain fart and I had to reboot it and now I am staring at the bright screen, thirsty, but not allowed to drink.

So, I guess I will post some of my favorite photos from this journey:

The day before surgery

Some thoughts on the day before my VSG surgery! Hey, it's tomorrow folks!

A new low! Weigh in before surgery.

Hi all,

I know you are out there, I see the hits, but seldom have any comments. Hopefully this post will generate some.

Today is TWO DAYS until my VSG surgery and I am really excited. I am so ready! I have run the gamut of emotions, but today I am just pumped.

My pool closed down for renovations, but I got a pass from a LA Fitness pool to swim until Monday and will get a pass from the Y for Tuesday, I plan to swim right up to my date, but here is what I am really excited about:

I have hit my second goal! I now weigh less than my husband. This morning I weighed in at 256. I have not been in the 250's since 2007! I started this journey at 298 pounds and went to the first weigh in and weighed 278. In the past six months on the required diet, I have lost 22 pounds.

I have learned:

How to slow down my eating.
How to chew more and eat without drinking.
Which vitamins to take to nourish my body after surgery.
To journal my foods and exercise with every meal/workout.
That overestimating workout and underestimating portions is a recipe for diasaster.

Bring on surgery.

My next goal is 220 pounds. I don't set time limits because my body doesn't work that way.

4 days/ working through anxiety with cognitive behavioral therapy

From about nine days until surgery to yesterday I was having kind of a hard time dealing with my anxiety.

I had made a video about some of the anxiety that I was feeling about the surgery and I started remembering my cognitive behavioral therapy and decided to print out a new workbook and start working through the modules.

I was really astounded when I got done working through the thought process module. I have been talking about fear of dying and fear of complications but as I work through the module it became apparent what I'm really afraid of is giving up foods that I have relied upon for comfort.

Cloaking that fear in a fear of death, allows me to express it to my family in a way that may cause them to say maybe you shouldn't have the surgery.

And that's what the me wants who doesn't want to have to give up food. She wants somebody else to say don't do it.

I know this is going to be hard and life changing but I'm going through it darn it all. And I'm going to be here afterwards.

I'll have to find new coping mechanisms, but that's what the cognitive behavioral therapy will really help with. I'm glad I have this tool because it is an excellent way to work through strong feelings.

One Weak Until My Surgery!

One Weak left!

You guys know that I am a serious spelling and grammar Nazi, so no, I did not misspell that. One weak left.

One weak heart that fears being put to sleep by my team of doctors.
One weak body that has carried too much, for too long.
One weak mind that has given in far too often.

I have seven days left before my surgery and I plan to spend those seven days being:

Strong in mind, remembering my mission and what has brought me here.
Strong in body, swimming daily and getting ready for My Olympics -- my VSG surgery.
Strong in heart, knowing that God is with me and he has a plan for me.

I refuse to give in. I refuse to look to either side for a getaway.

This is my battleground and I am not weak. Not in this lifetime.

Way too much TMI

I am warning you. TMI.

So, I am perimenopausal. That means that I have been having hot flashes since I was 43. I am now 50. I started having irregular periods about 5 years ago and several times I have thought that I crossed over...

...into full menopause (defined as having gone 12 months without a period), only to find a sneaky Ninja period catches me unaware and I am back to square one.

Last night my husband and I got frisky and this morning I awoke to a shark attack, which apparently occurred in my sleep.

Can I say that I am actually happy about this? I am 10 days away from my VSG surgery and the LAST thing I would want would be one of these things to hit me the day before or the day of surgery.

When you go months and months without a period you can count on it being ....

Well, intense.

I am glad that I have a chance for recovery here.

I am also damned glad that it's not what I thought it was. I was spotting a tiny bit the past two days and thought I had a case of hemorrhoids. Whew.

I think my body is trying to pull out all of the stops to get me to cancel my surgery. First by the cold that I got on Monday ----->  I kicked it's ass.

And now this.

Sorry, body, I will be dragging you, kicking and screaming, for your VSG surgery.

Get ready to suck on this...cause surgery is ten days from today.

All done with things on my list. Time for a new list.

I tend to keep centered by having things to do that are clearly set out before me, like stones in a river to step across. 11 days until my VSG surgery.

I had a list, which I kept to break up the amount of time that I have to wait until my surgery, but I have finished everything on that list, amazingly. So I am going to try to focus and make a new list.

I have eleven days until midnight the night before my surgery. Tensions are rising. I would not say I am afraid, but I am aware of the risks that I am taking. They are on my mind.

Strangely enough, the weight loss that will accompany the surgery is only at the very edges of my awareness. I am aware that my pants, my only pair of jeans is about falling off of me, but I won't buy new at this time. I stopped buying clothing back in November and I refuse to buy any clothing right now.

January 23, get stove installed, swim, Chuck's Sleep study, order cake for Rachel's birthday (small cake) DONE

shop for Rachel's birthday, get gift cards for Dave & Busters, DONE

January 24th take Jon to work and pick him up. DONE

Make a list for the hospital bag and foods needed for liquid stage DONE

Buy "liquid stage" foods and stock cabinet. Warn the kids not to eat/drink my stuff. DONE

Clean out the junk that's on the headboard and bedside table. Consider getting a new bedside table that has drawers (my drawer has no bottom)

Find liquid adult tylenol and liquid antacid DONE

January 26th  - Do not eat meat after today - Days that I have done this:  2

January 27th Send birthday cards to Andy, Erica and Ben DONE

January 28th Charlie and Rachel's dentist appointments.

Get suitcase packed.

Jan 30th Don't forget pink post op book. Pick up Rachel's cake DONE

January 30th - Rachel's Birthday - Fun day! Done 

January 31st - Take Jon to work and pick him up. DONE

Start using antibacterial pre-op soap - DONE


Feb 2 - Jon's Dental appt canceled


Feb 3rd -
Stop all foods and water after 10:00 PM, get water glasses out of the bedroom.
Put wedding rings in the jewelry box
Put CPAP mask and headgear into suitcase (consider taking machine)

Feb 4th - Surgery

Stepping stones.

Snow, swimming, taking your swim to a new level.

I am writing this to follow up on a video that I made this morning, which talked about increasing the intensity of the swim by changing your kickoff glide to a dolphin kick. I will post my video here, but also, I am going to link to a video which will show Michael Phelps doing the same kick.

 It has made my legs so strong. Start the linked video of Phelps and his competition at about 3:33. Pay attention to their turns and the kick that they do with each turn.

-----> Phelps Video:    http://youtu.be/Pe3I8NkR5oQ

Two weeks until Surgery ----> Nesting.

VSG Nesting

Well, as of this writing, it is 14 days and 8 hours until my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Surgery. I have been doing a lot of stuff to prepare for being in recovery, such as:

1. Taking some $$$ out of savings to cover my $1,000 deductible for the insurance.
2. Electronically scheduling payments on all of our bills for the month of February, just so that I don't miss any of them.
3. Refilling my everyday prescriptions.
4. Making sure that I have vitamins/minerals (B-12, Calcium, Magnesium, Multivitamin with Iron and Biotine) that I can tolerate (being yummy is a bonus).
5. Cleaning out my vacuum. Yeah, I am not sure why. But it's clean.
6. Reading my books on the VSG surgery.
7. Watching my countdown clock.
8. Making lists.
9. Nesting

It's a lot like being pregnant.

When you are pregnant, you go to a lot of doctors appointments and generally, there are a lot of people there who are either pregnant or just delivered. You have a lot of other doctors to visit (ultrasounds, blood work, etc.) You read a lot about pregnancy and babies.

You select a hospital, you have birthing classes (bariatric support group meetings). You have to pack a bag and get a lot of things ready for the baby (or in this case, for your new sleeve).

You nest.

And a lot of times, the spouse just is NOT as involved in the preparation as you are. 

Who wants to be eyeballing dust bunnies when you are prohibited from picking up more than ten pounds? You clean. You dust. You throw out the old and bring in the new.

If you are a sleever, I wonder, are you nesting yet?

Getting Excited! & Some info about baby utensils

It is now 28 days until my VSG surgery. I got a call this morning from the doctor's office and they went over everything that they have and what they still need from me. They needed my endoscopy study and they wanted me to do an online anesthesia orientation, which I completed yesterday.



I called my GI surgeon and had them fax my endoscopy to the doctor and I received the rest of my instructions:

• They asked me to move my history/physical and pre-op bloodwork up, seeing as though my surgery was moved up by three weeks. I have now scheduled that for next Tuesday.
• I am to stop taking NSAIDS (which I stopped after my endoscopy, when the GI doc said to never take them again).
• I am to stop taking any vitamins which contain Vitamin K, which can change the body's clotting process.

So, that really pumped me up. I did forget to ask if I meet with the doctor before the surgery for an appointment, but I am 99% sure that I don't see her again until I am wearing the paper gown.

So, 28 days.

Next week is a busy one with my last insurance mandated weigh in on Tuesday, then my pre-op workup on Tuesday and my last bariatric support group meeting before surgery on Wednesday.

Busy is good. Keeps my mind off of things.

I was scheduled to have a tooth cleaning on January 28th, but I have decided to cancel that. I have that mitral valve prolapse and there is an ever-so-slight risk of endocarditis with a dental cleaning and they used to pre-medicate with antibiotics prior to appointments. They no longer pre-medicate and I am just jumpy enough not to want to have even a slight risk of a heart infection.

It's getting close, peeps!!

By the way, I did buy myself a tiny set of flatware. I did not want to eat, post-op, off of plastic baby spoons and forks. Especially since the forks tend to be spork-ish.

So I bought this set online. It really does slow me down. I have been eating with it every day and also using the smaller bowls and plates that I purchased and it does, indeed, slow me down and make me take smaller bites.

Now, when I look at typical forks, I think, man, that looks like a shovel!

Four + weeks until surgery!

Hi everyone, which is probably no one, because no one ever comments.

Anyway, I am past the five week point and now at four weeks plus change until my VSG.

I see a sleep doctor on Monday to adjust my CPAP settings, I have not been sleeping well since I asked my family doctor to change me to the auto pap setting.

When am I going to learn not to self-diagnose?

I bought some supplies for after my surgery and the anti-bacterial soap for before the surgery. I am getting excited, but it is not close enough for me to be getting scared yet. That will come, I am sure.

The thing that has gotten me through my previous surgeries has been faith in God. I know that if it is my time to die on the table, that I have trusted Christ as my savior and I am saved. If I survive, then I am a fighter and I will do the very best I can, with His help, to get better and whip this weight battle.

I am feeling much better about the diet that will be my life, since lately the six month diet is coming easy to me. I rarely have days over 1400 anymore and some of my days are closer to 1200. That is good news in that I have not eaten a lot of the crap that I used to eat.

If I go out for food, I am having salads with low cal dressing or chili. If I have chinese, I am having veggies and chicken with no rice or noodles.

I have not had a reese cup pass my lips or a double or mega stuffed orea in two months. That is really saying something.

Watch my surgery date tracker. Prayers are requested.

I am off to swim. Gotta get that swim in!!!

Surgery Date Moved UP!

I am now scheduled to have surgery on Feb 4th, instead of February 18th. I had told them that I was available earlier, if possible.

Shit just got real.

Ten Weeks to my Surgery!

Seventy days until my surgery date. That sounds so long, but two and a half months sounds a lot closer.

Today I scheduled my pre-op history, physical and blood testing. That will be done at the hospital, since they have a better way to transmit the information straight to my surgeon.

I talked to my sister today. She's skinny. Always has been. She said that her husband, who is a family doctor, finds that the people who regain after the sleeve are those who keep drinking high calorie liquids and who just eat ALL THE TIME.

I am finding that a lot of foods that are listed as diet foods are the worst for me. I tried eating AllWhites Egg Whites.  Major pain where my gallbladder used to be. They say there is nothing but egg white in it, but something is wrong.

I am making a little ten week video, which I will post below. I promise from here on out to keep my videos to five minutes or less!!!

Ok, probably won't ever happen. I talk too much!

Thanksgiving - 80 days until VSG

Today I cooked our Thanksgiving dinner. We visit my husband's great aunt, who is 87 and lives in a senior living center. We visit frequently, but have all of the major holiday dinners there, because it would suck for her to be alone.

So today we had our dinner. I started cooking last night. It was not as hard as I thought it would be to be in a house that is drenched in the smells of food all day.

My calories for the day were 1637, that is over by 237, but in the big scheme of things, it's good.

Yesterday was my FIFTIETH birthday! Well, actually today is, but we celebrated yesterday. I had a bit of cake, dinner at Max and Erma's and got some really super presents. I felt really loved on.

Charlie has been having a lot of meltdowns, but we are dealing them one at a time. Today we had four. That's hard. It's hard on all of us.

I came home from being out with the family and was STARVING. We had eaten at 2 PM and it was 6 and I was just starved.  I had turkey, stuffing and gravy and some deviled eggs. I didn't journal before hand ---

Hang on, he's at it again...

--- but the result was only being 237 calories over. I can live with that. I did a kick ass swim today and swam an hour yesterday.

I have learned that in order to do a really good dolphin kick, you really have to twerk a little underwater to get the undulating movement going. Man, it felt weird, but good.

I also had to order a smaller bathing suit. Mine is way big on me, but most of that might be deterioration from chlorine. I am afraid the new one, when it comes, won't fit.

80 days to go.

12 Weeks to VSG

I think the last time that I counted weeks toward surgery I was at eighteen weeks away. Last week I was surprise to find myself at thirteen weeks.

And I stepped on the scale this afternoon and I am up two more pounds. Gosh, I am having a terrible time with this. 274 pounds today.

I can say that, other than when I was on prescription diet pills, this is the longest that I have ever lasted journalling every day. 97 days so far on My Fitness Pal. But I am so hungry all the time.

I can't imagine making it another DAY, let alone another WEEK, let alone TWELVE weeks.

Help!

I am going to jump over to Superherofitnesstv on youtube and do her kick ass chair workout. That should help me feel better.

UPDATE: DID it and don't I feel better already? Team LaShae!

By the way, I am newly in love with Hot Mess Princess! Check out her blog!

11 Weeks Pre-Op

How the heck did this happen? An entire week has passed!

• Thanksgiving is officially under our belts, but not under mine. I didn't overeat and although I have had leftovers, I have used measuring cups and a measuring spoon to portion out my stuff. I use a tablespoon for gravy and limit it to three tablespoons of gravy. No candied sweet potatoes and no cranberry sauce. Cranberry is not bad, but that jellied stuff is just candy in disguise.

• I have two more foods off of my good foods list: Just Great Stuff Powdered Chocolate Peanut Butter -- Made my guts just HURT &  All Whites Egg Whites -- caused a case of the runs. UPDATE: Eggland's Best Eggwhites do not hurt or cause me to have the runs.)

I am really finding that eating the real stuff is better. The egg whites say it is just egg whites, but eggs don't affect me like this. Something is wrong with them.

• So, Thursday is my Nutritionalist appointment. I have some reading to do before that, they gave me a booklet. I have read it once, but will go over it again.

• My 11 year old golden retriever has something wrong with her and we might have to put her down. She is having a hard time walking and the vet suspects something in her gut (like a tumor) might be the problem, throwing her weight off balance. We are going for xrays on Friday.

• I am having a lot of issues with leg cramping and foot cramping at night. I swim every day and use a lot of leg kicking in that swim, but this is, I believe, a water intake issue. I really have to push drinking more water and add some potassium and magnesium into my diet. I tend to be deficient in potassium.

Surgery Date!

HI everyone!

I see that there are new readers, I would sure love it if anyone would introduce themselves. I would love to link to your blogs or site.

Anyway, today I got the call that they have scheduled my surgery tentatively for February 18th. I am going for my endoscopy next Friday and barring any problems with that, I should be fine. I also have to have clearance from the nutritional person and the psychiatrist.

So I am on my way. I am excited --- and a bit scared. I am wondering if I am doing the right thing, but on the whole, I am ready. Ok, maybe almost ready.

I am glad that I have time to get my head set. My son's fifteenth birthday is on February 21st and I want to be on my feet for that, or at least able to sit in a chair. Charlie has autism and birthdays are really important to him. I plan to get things ready so that my husband can do all of the birthday stuff and I can just kick back and be a guest.