Feeling better after adding new foods.

I went to my facebook bariatric group and asked about my concerns about my eating being too focused on just protein and water. I was given some good suggestions and after going shopping and buying foods that are good for me, I am feeling much better:

Clearer in mind, less angry, less feeling like being cheated out of life. Calmer. And I dropped 4 pounds over the weekend, which was totally unexpected.

I even had a poo that was normal with no bleeding. Praise the Lord!

I swam today for 20 minutes at a good hard clip, swimming freestyle laps and plan a walk for later. I am going to walk 20 minutes, rather than the 45 minute death march that I had been doing.

I had been so worried that I would mess up my progress that I had forgotten that the main success of the sleeve is that even though we still eat, we eat much less. So I was able to eat a bit of cereal with some unsweetened cashew milk and a sprinkle of stevia and be ok.

I was able to have a Fiber one brownie and be ok.

I think that this increased fiber is why I had a decent experience in the bathroom without bleeding. 

Getting off of Coffee

Today is the fifth day that I have not had any coffee. It has been a long weaning process. I used to drink it black and I would usually eat vanilla oreo cookies with it. Or toast with butter. Sometimes eight cookies or four slices of toast.

I wanted to stop the coffee because every time that I didn't have coffee in the morning, I would get a massive headache and since I know that I won't be drinking coffee immediately pre-op, I am stopping to coffee to avoid adding a headache to my list of post op issues.

Here is the funny thing: My carb cravings for bread and cookies has dramatically reduced!

That was unexpected!

I guess it's because eating cookies and toast was so tied to drinking a cup of coffee. Man. I am really happy about that.

I had a headache for three days. Now I am not even thinking about having a cup of coffee.

Here is how I weaned off of it:

1. I went from three cups of full strength coffee to one cup full strength and two cups of Green Mountain Half Caff
2. Then I went to all Half Caff.
3. Then I reduced to one cup of Half Caff and two cups of decaf.
4. Then I would use my kuerig on the small setting to fill a large cup half way. I would dump out a little of the half caff, I would then top off with a small setting of decaf, creating 1/4 caff.
5. A week after that I went to decaf for a week
6. I weaned back to one cup of decaf.
7. This Monday I had my last cup of coffee.

So this has really worked for me. It's like titrating off of medicine.

UPDATE From the Post Op Me: I ended up going back onto coffee full bore pre-op. I was afraid it would screw me up post op, but maybe it was the morphine or something...I have had no headaches and no withdrawals and it is nearly three weeks post op and I have not had any coffee. Why bother? I can't drink with meals anymore anyway. 

Food Holidays

Who benefits from these massive binge holidays? From Halloween candy to Easter Bunnies. From getting drunk at St. Patrick's Day to stuffing yourself like the Christmas Goose?

The marketers and the stores get the benefit.

Every month there is another holiday. Throw in birthday parties and anniversaries and you have a lot of days which are only "normal" if they are highly caloric.

I want to stop this cycle. What prompted me?

I was in the card store buying some thank you cards for after Christmas and I saw a whole rack of Happy New Year cards.

Huh?

Isn't that covered on our Christmas cards? Maybe they are for people who don't celebrate Christmas. But more than likely someone just said, 'hey, what OTHER days can we sell people cards on?"

It's like that with food and drink holidays.

When do they put out the candy for Halloween? They do it well before Labor Day. That is so that you will buy early, eat it all before Halloween and then have to buy it again.

Now, I could say that I want 2015 to be the year of no-food holidays, but I am dragging the family with me and that is going to be an uphill battle. But I can decide that instead of a quarter sheet cake for each family birthday, to buy a little 6 inch round cake. Or better yet,  make a cake. That way NO ONE would touch it.

And you know, most of these holidays really irk me. Santa and the Easter Bunny usurp Christ's place in His own days of recognition. I hate making Easter baskets. Yeah, you can turn it around to put some sort of religious slant onto it, but it's still a holiday that has nothing to do with Christ.

More toast. Because carbs are so good for us, right?

Ah. Way off track here. What I wanted to say is that I am  buying a two slice toaster today. Why? Because I don't want to eat four slices of toast every time I decide I want toast.

Yeah, I could put in two pieces, but those two empty slots taunt me. I always grab four pieces of bread. With a two-seater, I would be forced to choose between quelling my impatience to wait for the toaster to brown two more slices and my hunger to eat the toast that is ready and waiting for me.

My actual arms. Yes, I am proud of my guns!

I am not going to obsess about the once a month food holidays and concentrate, instead, on the daily small things that I can do to make my food intake better. Like eating less bread with butter.

The bread is just a vehicle for more butter.

Baby steps.

Hey, it's only 356 days until Christmas!

Shoot me now.

In a completely different Phase of this pre-op period.

I wanted to write to talk about how I feel like I am on a different plane in this pre-operative stage. I have passed the last of my tests and have done every hard thing that I was required to do. I have been poked, prodded and had a camera down my throat. I have been wired up with a zillion wires  and been made to sleep that way -- TWICE!

Now I feel like the rest of this time is dedicated to:

1. Eliminating coffee and the rest of the caffeine from my daily routine.
2. Breaking the "Start the day with carbs" mentality.
3. Working out and eating the best ever, so as to go into surgery in the best health that I can.

They have not told me that I can never have coffee again, but I know that in the beginning stages, I won't be able to tolerate the hot, black coffee that I enjoy. So, rather than add a caffeine headache to the other issues that I will face in the first several days after surgery, I am going to decaf now for a week and then I will be changing my keurig cup size to small for a week and then weaning further until I am off of the coffee completely.

Although I may just decide to quit cold turkey.

The coffee goes hand in hand with the cookies. I usually have vanilla oreo cookies with my coffee. I used to dunk mega stuff oreo and have about eight. Then I went to double stuff, and now I eat two or four regular oreos, but I feel if I ditch the coffee, then I can get rid of the oreos, too.

This morning I made two eggs and enriched them with an extra egg white in each well of my pampered chef microwave egg cooker. Then I drenched them in salsa after they were cooked and on my plate.

That's a much better breakfast than cookies and coffee.

And my third focus is just on stay on track and not letting up. I have a period coming on, I know it. My skin is breaking out and my scalp is itching -- those are my two big signs. I want to stay steady even through the hormonal storms.

Wish me luck!

Vaccinating with Carbs

Last night I had to go pick up dog food at the store, I was grumpy and cranky from having said NO to myself too many times. I was really hungry.

As I was shopping, I felt like buying the whole store, but I kept reminding myself that I have food at home. I even felt like going out for take out fast food just so that I could eat it in the car.

Why?

Well, when I am deprived, I tend to want to eat alone so that no one will see me, this is guilt and it is a sense of having to "succeed" in front of people, but to eat on my own alone.

I went home and had a decent meal. This morning I had a good breakfast.

When I get into "the zone" of dieting, when I am eating way too little for my body, I get nuts and rebound. I need to remind myself to be moderate.

This is so important. Moderation. I can have the bread.I just need to stop before I eat eight pieces. Carbs are not the devil if taken in moderation.

I think that eating some carbs is like vaccinating. You get some of what can kill you, but it's a little bit, rather than the full virus.

Remember that carbs are the only food your brain eats.

Finishing Breakfast

Today Charlie, my 14 year old son who has autism, was sick with strep throat. This comes on the heels of our 10 year old getting Scarlet Fever. Same bug. Group A Strep.

After running around to get his doctor to prescribe some antibiotics (it would be nearly worth going to medical school just to be able to get meds when needed), I stopped at McDonalds to get some food. I was starving and again -- I did not bring food with me.

I need to make a point to do this EVERY day.

Anyway, I ordered the mcmuffin with egg only, but at the last second ordered a side of hotcakes -- 600 calories of hot cakes.

After eating the sandwich in the car, I was more able to deal with the pancakes in a more logical manner. There were three hot cakes. I ate one and I was prepping the other two to be devoured, when my hand grabbed the salt container and went a little nuts:

Hotcakes Rendered Inert!

I do this from time to time, when my hunger very nearly exceeds my capacity for rational thought. I just do what I call "rendering food intert".

It works. And for the record, the one pancake that I ate was horribly tasteless, but I still might have eaten the others anyway, I was that hungry.

Weight Loss Hypnosis with Dr. Steven Gurgevich

Today I am reviewing a set of audio cd's by Dr. Steven Gurgevich. Dr. Gurgevich is a specialist in the field of medical hypnosis. Let me state from the outset that I was not approached to do a review or to try the product. I have not been paid or given the product. I have studied this of my own free will.

I originally got the idea to listen to self-hypnosis cds after hearing about a person who had lost a lot of weight after receiving a set of cds which simulated a gastric bypass. I was intrigued. I thought it was hokey, but I know that a lot of people have quit smoking as a result of self-hypnosis, so I thought I would try it. What did I have to lose, other than a bit of time?

Although Dr. Gurgevich does not offer the virtual gastric bypass type hypnosis, I ordered The Self-Hypnosis Diet cd set from my local library and had it shipped to me via an inter-library loan. I am a cheapie and I love the library, so there you have it. Plus, I was fairly convinced that it was malarky and why waste my money?

There are three cds. The first discusses weight loss and what self-hypnosis is. The second one has a multitude of different trance sessions to work on different topics such as emotions, traumatic experiences and canceling cravings. The third cd has several tracks to get the dieter through the day with a morning, afternoon and evening session.

Who has time for all of these sessions? Well, it turns out that I have time for them. Or, I should say, I make time for them. Time for me. In my lifetime, I have been continually amazed at how susceptible to suggestion I am, but this is the first time that it has actually worked in my favor.

The first thing that I would say is that there is no "diet" that is suggested to the listener. Dr. Gurgevich has not packaged up a secret plan. It is just suggestions which help a person no matter how they are trying to incorporate healthy habits into their lives.

I am journaling my foods and exercising daily. I swim once a day and if I don't get my half hour lap swim in, I walk. I am also staying at or around 1400 calories a day.

On this journey toward bariatric surgery, there is a five month diet, which is required by the insurance company and through this hypnosis diet cd, I have found that diet to be much less strenuous than when I was trying to do it on my own. Prior to listening to the Self-Hypnosis Diet, I was having a very hard time sticking to 1400 calories. Many days I was up in the 1900 or 1800's. There were times when I was not logging all of my foods. I was cheating.

For the last two weeks, I have set aside some time to sit with a portable cd player and some great cushy headphones and listen to the sessions. I find that what is happening is that my cravings are much decreased. I am able to stay on track through the day. I am aware of how detrimental skipping meals is to me and I am more able to plan for the day's food needs.

I am learning to treasure my working body.

I still eat nutella and jif peanut butter, but I eat much less of it. I have gone from 4 tablespoons of each {780 calories} per night to one combined tablespoon {100 calories total} in the evening. I had been faking my log where this was concerned, but now I always log it honestly. I enjoy it more because I am able to look at it as a snack that I enjoy. I savor it rather than mindlessly glomming it down and I am actively looking for alternatives that are healthier than plain old jif and nutella. I feel a sense of urgency to nourish my body, rather than to just satisfy my cravings.


The constant reassurance that I get through Dr. Gurgevich's voice has really helped me. My husband thinks that I just go to sleep when I listen, but each time (other than the nighttime "lesson") that I listen, I wake at the prompt to come fully awake, so I know I am entering a trance state. I still could not tell you what is on every CD, I could not quote a transcript because I am only subconsciously aware of most of it, but I know this: It is helping me.

I just ordered my own set of the CDs from Dr. Gurgevich's website. These are a keeper.

Weigh In (insurance required diet) & Oreos are Satan.

Last night was the LifeStyle Class, which is the dietetic/exercise supervised diet that my insurance requires before bariatric surgery. I was nervous, because I knew I had fallen off the wagon several times.

I weighed in five pounds less than my first weigh in, but I skipped wearing a bra and took off my shoes AND my bluetooth ear piece. Yeah, I am just a little obsessive. I started out at 280 pounds and am down to 269 pounds.

Yeah ME! 

The focus of the LifeStyle class was on good snacking and on getting exercise every day, even if it's just moving more: taking the steps rather than an elevator, parking further away from stores or work and moving more at home.

The support group meeting afterward was about exercise. It's kind of weird, for a support group, because we sit in an auditorium and they do not introduce the members to each other. It's all about whatever program is going on for that week.

Personally, I would rather talk with the members and get some idea of how they have done since surgery. I guess I will look into whether or not there is another support group (other than Facebook groups) in our area.

But this meeting was excellent. Molly was the speaker and she is an exercise guru who is really fun. During her presentation, she had us get up five times to do three exercises (a set each). By the end of the presentation, we had done 50 arm lifts, 100 leg kicks and 100 side bends without really even feeling it. I want to take her class. It's once a week at the hospital.

So that's it for now. Down five pounds. I am going to try to stop eating the darned Oreo cookies, or maybe step down to regulars ones from the double stuff. I  had originally been eating mega stuff vanilla Oreo and although those are definitely the better ones, it's just too caloric.

Here's the breakdown - strictly calories, in case anyone else is interested:

Vanilla Oreo Cookies Regular Filling:  63 calories each
Double stuff  Vanilla Oreo Cookies      75 calories each
Vanilla Oreo Cookies Mega Stuff:        90 calories each

Now if we assume that the cookie portion (which I don't like) is the same in each cookie, we can extrapolate that the "stuff" portion is roughly 20 calories (or less) in each cookie.

The Algebra of the Filling:

Total Calories in Mega Stuff cookies = M

Total Calories in Regular cookies = R

Total Calories in Doublestuff cookies = D

Amount of "double filling" = X

Amount of "regular filling" = Y

M - R = X

D - R =  Y

You didn't know there would be math, did you?

90 - 63 =  27 (X)

75 - 63 =  12 (Y)

We don't really know how much stuff they put in a double stuff, so I am going to assume that it is between 12 and 27 calories and call it twenty.

You know what, I can deal with 20 calories. I am going to ditch the cookie and just eat the stuff with my coffee. 

I had been eating eight double stuff, which is 600 calories, roughly half of my allowance for the day. If I just have the filling of one, which is all that I crave with my black coffee (they just go together somehow) then that is 20 calories.

I am hoping to just break the whole damned habit. I never liked the cookies until my husband suggested that I dunk them. One addiction at a time...