Scale Obsessed

I have gone into the scale obsessed mode. I have been on the scale so many times in the past two weeks that I can't even count them. Many, many times per day in the morning. If I pee, then I get undressed and get on the scale. Same with other bodily functions.

So I made a little chart to plot my weight on a weekly basis. I took it all the way back to my highest weight and then went forward to my pre-surgery diet and up to today. I made lines to indicate each month and also circled period dates.

It showed me - in a much better way than my phone app could -- the progression that I have gone through since I started thinking about surgery. I feel like I am able to now put the scale aside until each Monday and just let it be.

I am not going to lose 20 pounds in a month. That was a one time thing, I think. It would be nice, but it's not reality. 

I did have a couple marks where I got the whole period thing wrong and had to cross it out. I got confused from my app as to what indicated a period and a little flower icon that I guess indicates ovulation.

I am perimenopausal, so periods are very random. I am also going back to drinking my water with no crystal light in it. I need to get back to plain water. My tastes might not be back to normal, but I need to just get off of the sweet chemicals. I hate eating/drinking things with artificial sweeteners.

On the exercise front, I have gotten to the point where I can pound out a good 2-3 mile walk in a half hour. I am still short of breath on the hills, but I am making them now without stopping, which is nice.

The scoop on fullness

Here is the thing. I don't get "full" anymore.

I know how much to eat, my sleeve can hold two mushy ounces at this point. I can drink 8 ounces of water in an hour, but God forbid I eat over two ounces.

Unless it's whipped greek yogurt, which I no longer eat.

So I have a knowledge of how much to eat and after I am done, I am invariably still raring to eat more.

After about 20 minutes a feeling settles over my sleeve, a pushy feeling. It feels like there is something there and at that point, any thought of eating more is completely gone.

So the old feeling of gut bloating, pants loosening, leaning back in the chair saying, Wow. I am so full. That feeling is gone.

But so are a lot of pounds in a very short and painless time.

I can deal with the loss of that feeling of having feasted. I would rather be thin than to be full.

Things are getting more and more settled for me with each passing day. I had my Vertical Sleeve surgery on Feb 4th. Wow, it is hard to believe that I am coming up on three weeks soon.

 

I have gotten into a good routine of having my protein shake in the morning (cashew milk and chocolate egg white protein: 150 cals and 24g protein) and having soft foods for the rest of the day, such as egg beaters, fake lobster (white fish), and Yoplait whipped greek yogurt. I also puree chicken and tuna and have had some sweet potato pureed to add some fiber.

I am glad that I tried a lot of protein drinks before my surgery, so that I could find one that I can manage to stand the taste of, and which does not set off my daily sensitivity. Strangely enough, the yogurt is not bothering me, but I am having that in small quantities.


Yoplait has two different kinds of whipped yogurt. One is greek, with 9 grams of protein and 100 calories and one is regular yoplait whipped and has 5 grams of protein and 140 calories. Be careful when choosing. The higher cal/carb variety has more flavors, but I am opting for the higher protein greek type. This yogurt is not very filling and I believe it is a "slider food" so be careful.


I am down a solid 20 pounds since surgery, which is incredible for me, since I suffered through that six month insurance diet and only lost 17 pounds and it was a STRUGGLE the whole time. This has been so painless.

Some things that are harder are:

1. Waiting to drink until at least a half hour after eating.
2. Remembering to take water with me when I leave the house.
3. Learning what my "full" feeling is, without going past it.
4. Feeding my family and not eating what they are eating.

I have been cooking like a fiend, partially to get foods out of the house that tempt me and partially to keep the family happy. I had not cooked at all during my six month diet, except for little meals when I felt that I had to get something on the table. I just let my kids and husband fend for themselves.

Now that I am not as hungry or craving, I can cook again, but still, there are times when I see trigger foods and want them, but it is all head hunger and I am able to walk away from it.

I do not have an exercise routine yet, although I walked outside yesterday. It is cold and icy and I am afraid of falling. I am hoping to be able to get back into the pool soon, but as soon as I reactivate my pool membership, the end of my membership starts looming. I have about thirty days before I have to pay to renew it. I may do it as a single membership, which is $150 as opposed to $250 for the family.

Stupid Scale.

I had to hide my scale. I am 13 days post op and of course I am waiting for the BIG WEIGHT LOSS like it's Christmas and I am six years old.

I know that this takes time. I know that my body is changing in ways that are not reflected on a scale and I know that my period is less than a week away (if it decides to visit this month).

So, I am hanging in there, doing all the good things:

• Drinking my fluids
• Following my doctor's instructions
• Getting some gentle walking in 
• Resting

Still, it's hard to cope with the whole scale thing. 

I am going to try to refocus on my upcoming transition to the stage II diet (currently on all liquids) and think about other things than my number.

It's hard seeing others who have had the same surgery take much bigger jumps down the scale, but I know:

• I started with a relatively low BMI and that causes weight loss to be slower
• I can not compare myself with others. 
• I need to trust the process

So, that's it. I can't expect to see a pound a day loss on the scale and I need to get my head around that and keep going. Otherwise, I will crash and burn.

The results of my final pre op weigh in.

Last weigh-in holy bananas!: http://youtu.be/viPi5GKL1bM