7 week update photos

At surgery I was 256 (262 according to my doctor) and today I am 227. Here are some photos of me at surgery day and today. The purple shorts are from today.

Can you see a difference? The belly is still pretty huge, but it folds now, LOL.

Disney is coming up in early May. Will I be out of the 200's by then? Hard to tell. I am back to swimming several days a week, usually four or five. I also walk, but the weather has turned really cold again, so I have cut back on that.

I am now doing static weight lifting. I did a video on this. It's a different way of lifting weights for people who have joint problems.

Out of the 230's

It has been a journey, these past seven weeks. I am learning that I have to put a whole lot less angst into these weight loss slowdowns.

I am now out of the 230's. I hit 229 yesterday and was still there today. I just have to realize that when I watched all of those videos about people losing a hundred pounds, they didn't lose it in a month.

I was able to tuck in my shirt today. That felt good. I am feeling better all the time. I started some running, but my knee really hurts, so I am going to keep it to just walking until I am stronger. My lower left belly also hurts now.

Scale Obsessed

I have gone into the scale obsessed mode. I have been on the scale so many times in the past two weeks that I can't even count them. Many, many times per day in the morning. If I pee, then I get undressed and get on the scale. Same with other bodily functions.

So I made a little chart to plot my weight on a weekly basis. I took it all the way back to my highest weight and then went forward to my pre-surgery diet and up to today. I made lines to indicate each month and also circled period dates.

It showed me - in a much better way than my phone app could -- the progression that I have gone through since I started thinking about surgery. I feel like I am able to now put the scale aside until each Monday and just let it be.

I am not going to lose 20 pounds in a month. That was a one time thing, I think. It would be nice, but it's not reality. 

I did have a couple marks where I got the whole period thing wrong and had to cross it out. I got confused from my app as to what indicated a period and a little flower icon that I guess indicates ovulation.

I am perimenopausal, so periods are very random. I am also going back to drinking my water with no crystal light in it. I need to get back to plain water. My tastes might not be back to normal, but I need to just get off of the sweet chemicals. I hate eating/drinking things with artificial sweeteners.

On the exercise front, I have gotten to the point where I can pound out a good 2-3 mile walk in a half hour. I am still short of breath on the hills, but I am making them now without stopping, which is nice.

One Month Post Op

It has been a four weeks. Here is an image that shows where I was just before surgery and where I am today. Still a long way to go, but I see progress. I have gone from surgery weight 256 to current weight of 235.

I wasn't going to take pictures, because I didn't think there would be any visable difference.

Guess I was wrong about that, huh?

A new goal reached

Today I weighed in. I weigh 249 now. My first goal was to wear under 270. My second goal was to weigh less than my husband and my third goal was to weigh under 250.

So today I officially have met all three goals. My next goal will be 230 pounds.

As for my post surgery,  at 8 days post op, I'm coming along very well. I have only a minimal tugging feeling from my sutures, not really any pain at all. I can get up and down with no problem and today I took a half a mile walk outside with our puppy.

I've noticed that I'm able to walk better since I've lost some weight. The last time I had taken a walk was before it really started to get winter is here and I was still walking kind of duck footed. Now my feet are straight when I walk.

I'm getting in all of my water every day plus about another 10 to 20 ounces. I feel really good. Now if you had to ask me if I wanted to go back and relive the last week, well I'm not sure. But I can tell you this I have zero regrets for having done the surgery. And I'm assuming as time goes by things are just going to get better and better.

A new low! Weigh in before surgery.

Hi all,

I know you are out there, I see the hits, but seldom have any comments. Hopefully this post will generate some.

Today is TWO DAYS until my VSG surgery and I am really excited. I am so ready! I have run the gamut of emotions, but today I am just pumped.

My pool closed down for renovations, but I got a pass from a LA Fitness pool to swim until Monday and will get a pass from the Y for Tuesday, I plan to swim right up to my date, but here is what I am really excited about:

I have hit my second goal! I now weigh less than my husband. This morning I weighed in at 256. I have not been in the 250's since 2007! I started this journey at 298 pounds and went to the first weigh in and weighed 278. In the past six months on the required diet, I have lost 22 pounds.

I have learned:

How to slow down my eating.
How to chew more and eat without drinking.
Which vitamins to take to nourish my body after surgery.
To journal my foods and exercise with every meal/workout.
That overestimating workout and underestimating portions is a recipe for diasaster.

Bring on surgery.

My next goal is 220 pounds. I don't set time limits because my body doesn't work that way.

The results of my final pre op weigh in.

Last weigh-in holy bananas!: http://youtu.be/viPi5GKL1bM

A big day, my final weigh in.

Today at 3:30 PM I have to be at the hospital for my final weigh in on the six month insurance mandated diet of 1400 calories.

By the way, 22 days to go until my VSG surgery! But if I flub this weigh in, they will make me do another month of dieting!

It has been a long time since I started this, it started in July after my GI surgeon told me that he needed me to investigate the sleeve, because I needed to lose 100 pounds before having a bowel resection to help my recurrent bouts of diverticulitis.

So here I am at the final test. And this week has been hard. I have stayed within my calorie range, but I lost my mobility again when I hurt my back snow blowing. I was unable to walk upright for four days and only just able to walk for the last two. No swimming, no shopping, no exercise.

My eating has been ok, but the medicine that they put me on is very constipating. Constipation and a weigh in do not exactly go hand in hand. On Thursday I was up to 270 from 261 and it was all colon weight.

Since then I have been pushing fluids and eating foods that will "move the mail".

So, say a prayer, if you are so inclined and I will come back after my appointment and let you know how I did.

Can I weigh in wearing a bathing suit, I wonder?

Update: After my short swim (recuperating from a back ache) I shaved. My Legs. I mean, it's WINTER, but I shaved my legs. That had to take off an ounce or two. 

UPDATE:  I weighed in at 261, which is the lowest that I have weighed in YEARS. I was thrilled! It was at least four pounds less than I thought it would be. The staff was super supportive and cheered me on. Happy!

More CPAP problems

By the way, I am down to 262 today. My last weight report was 268, all time high 298. I have brought my food intake down to about 1200, rather than 1400 on most days and am swimming about 42 minutes a day of hard laps.

I messaged my doctor about this and have set up an appointment for January 5th with a sleep doctor. This is not a sleep study, just a one hour appointment. Hopefully the doctor can try to moderate my settings using the CPAP setting. I am at 13 on my back and 8 on my side, but with the CPAP, I only get one setting. 

There may be other alternatives that I am unaware of. I don't know much about the world of CPAP, but I know two things:

1. The risk of death during surgery for someone with sleep apnea but who is untreated is 30% higher than those without sleep apnea.

2. Having air blown into my stomach would SUCK when after my VSG surgery. Can you imagine that one?

Passed the Nutritionist!

I am offically done with my pre-op testing. I had my dietician consult today. Man, they put me through the ringer. I was there for three hours. I was weighed and then they tore apart my food log.

Apparently, if you are not eating what the dietician eats (mainly dairy) than you are doing something wrong.

I was able to get through it. She zinged me on my oreo habit, but I told her that I had not had a Reese cup for a month and I was down to two oreos a day with my one cup of coffee and they are the regular one, not the mega and not the double stuff ones.

Baby steps.

She told me twice how she weighs 100 pounds.

Really?

But I passed their tests and I am on my way. I weighed in at 267, but I had not eaten all day and had not had much to drink. I didn't want to weigh my bladder and colon and get yelled at.

Now I have to keep it between the lines for the next two months until my surgery and then the deed will be done and the hunger will abate. For a while.

I had to buy new underwear today. My 12's were too big and they didn't have 10's, so I bought a size 9 and they fit without pinching.

:)

I also had to buy another pair of pants and a stretchy size large fit me just fine. I am really about a 2x, but my legs are thin and muscular. It's just the belly that is so big.

Two Videos, a Weigh In and some News.

I posted part 1 and 2 of my reactions after having my psych evaluation and they will be just the next two posts from this one.  Just scroll down. It doesn't matter in which order you view them.

Also, I weighed in at 276 today - wait -- no - 267! 

I haven't written a number out of the 270's for three years! I am down from 272 on November 9th and down from a high of 298 back at my highest weight. Thank GOD the scale moved. I was on a plateau. I hope that I don't end up with another period before the next weigh in at my nutritionist evaluation on Thursday and then again on the 9th of December.

And the big news? My swimsuit has gotten too big for me, but the truth is that:

I have gotten TOO SMALL for my swimsuit!

And, it's the SECOND suit that I have shrunk out of! I had to ditch my 24/26 swim skirt in the Spring and now my size 22 suit is virtually hanging off of me. The material is just loose. The shoulder straps are falling off, the belly portion is loose, too.

So I ordered this suit in a size 20.

Not me, Peeps.

 And, ahem, notice? No skirt.

Happy!!

Pre-Op Weigh in and CBT

Today I weigh in with jeans and a shirt on, rather than my typical routine of weighing in naked. After all, I can't do that at my Lifestyle Weigh In Classes at the hospital.

Last time I was at 272 and so far I am down to 270 with another 11 days to go until my weigh in, but I might be weighed in on December 4th at the Dietician appointment.

I am hoping that I can get below 270 by my next hospital appointment.

On Monday I visit the psychologist for my evaluation. I hope that I pass without needing to get a letter from my other psychologist that I had been seeing.

Either way, I will work through whatever they require.

I did some cognitive behavioral therapy this morning when I realized that I had been worrying about the sleeve non-stop for the last two weeks. Here is a breakdown of the worksheet that I was doing:

What event scares you: Thinking about VSG.

Thoughts: 
I will be unable to lose the weight alone. 
I will become sick afterward
I am not really THAT fat.
I will regret the surgery?

Feelings:
Loser 50%
Scared 40%
Guilty 10%

Thinking Errors:
Jumping to Conclusions
Magnifying

Evidence for my Unhelpful Thoughts:
 Some people regain after VSG
Some people have complications after VSG

Evidence AGAINST my unhelpful thoughts:
In all things, including my 7 pregnancies, much of the results depend upon the outlook, follow through and  dedication of the person to what is suggested by the doctors.
I will go into surgery as healthy as possible. I will follow my doctors advice -- and I have been following it all these months.

Action:
Be active
Take supplements daily
Do as told post op.
It is in my hands has to how this VSG "tool" works. This is my chance.
Stop worrying.

New feelings:
Empowered 60%
Relieved 30%
Scared 10%

Downward Arrow Technique:

Distressing situation: I will not lose the weight, I will fail.

Thought: I will fail to lose the weight even with VSG.
What does this thought mean to me: I will never lose weight long term.
What does this thought mean to me: I can only lose so much and then I relapse.
What does this thought mean to me: I am a failure.
What does this thought mean to me: I can't do anything right.
What does this thought mean to me: I always quit.

Inner Belief: I always quit.

Thinking errors: Black and white thinking, overgeneralizing

Evidence against my inner belief:

• I have not quit my kids or my marriage
• I usually go full steam without moderation, but through journalling and using CBT, I am learning more moderation.
• There are things that I have quit, but mostly I have a lot of resolve.
• I have a better chance of NOT quitting with the sleeve.
• Everyone quits some things. I am human and addiction to foods, sugars, carbs is not simply a matter of will power, it involves brain chemistry and body chemistry. The sleeve gives me a fighting chance against these body reactions and an ability to retrain my mind and body through the period when the sleeve offers the most dampening of hunger.
• I realize already that my hunger will not magically disappear, therefore I am not looking at this as a magic wand.

12 Weeks to VSG

I think the last time that I counted weeks toward surgery I was at eighteen weeks away. Last week I was surprise to find myself at thirteen weeks.

And I stepped on the scale this afternoon and I am up two more pounds. Gosh, I am having a terrible time with this. 274 pounds today.

I can say that, other than when I was on prescription diet pills, this is the longest that I have ever lasted journalling every day. 97 days so far on My Fitness Pal. But I am so hungry all the time.

I can't imagine making it another DAY, let alone another WEEK, let alone TWELVE weeks.

Help!

I am going to jump over to Superherofitnesstv on youtube and do her kick ass chair workout. That should help me feel better.

UPDATE: DID it and don't I feel better already? Team LaShae!

By the way, I am newly in love with Hot Mess Princess! Check out her blog!

Weigh in Number 3, Gained 2.2 lbs.

I am in the five month diet that is mandated by my insurance. I had my third weigh in and was up 2.2 lbs. I think part of that was that I had really gone back into the carbs in a big way. Also, I had eaten before the weigh in and hadn't pooped. I know, TMI.

I am also having a period and started on prednisone for a skin irritation that I have right now.

I got well and truly bitched out by the weigh in staff. They were pretty hard on me. I am determined to do better for the next weigh in, but I have this Fuck You attitude going now, where I am upset because they made me feel like total crap.

But I knew last week that I was eating out of control. I went out several time for fast food, justifying it because I was getting "healthy" fast food, and eating a lot of cookies in my coffee. I have this huge carb withdrawal headache right now.

So, no one's fault but my own. I have to do better next time.

UPDATE: I called my doc's office and the insurance manager said that I am going to be ok if I don't have another rise and especially if I don't go above my weight when I started.

This has really kicked me in the butt. Time to go get in a walk. 

Weigh In (insurance required diet) & Oreos are Satan.

Last night was the LifeStyle Class, which is the dietetic/exercise supervised diet that my insurance requires before bariatric surgery. I was nervous, because I knew I had fallen off the wagon several times.

I weighed in five pounds less than my first weigh in, but I skipped wearing a bra and took off my shoes AND my bluetooth ear piece. Yeah, I am just a little obsessive. I started out at 280 pounds and am down to 269 pounds.

Yeah ME! 

The focus of the LifeStyle class was on good snacking and on getting exercise every day, even if it's just moving more: taking the steps rather than an elevator, parking further away from stores or work and moving more at home.

The support group meeting afterward was about exercise. It's kind of weird, for a support group, because we sit in an auditorium and they do not introduce the members to each other. It's all about whatever program is going on for that week.

Personally, I would rather talk with the members and get some idea of how they have done since surgery. I guess I will look into whether or not there is another support group (other than Facebook groups) in our area.

But this meeting was excellent. Molly was the speaker and she is an exercise guru who is really fun. During her presentation, she had us get up five times to do three exercises (a set each). By the end of the presentation, we had done 50 arm lifts, 100 leg kicks and 100 side bends without really even feeling it. I want to take her class. It's once a week at the hospital.

So that's it for now. Down five pounds. I am going to try to stop eating the darned Oreo cookies, or maybe step down to regulars ones from the double stuff. I  had originally been eating mega stuff vanilla Oreo and although those are definitely the better ones, it's just too caloric.

Here's the breakdown - strictly calories, in case anyone else is interested:

Vanilla Oreo Cookies Regular Filling:  63 calories each
Double stuff  Vanilla Oreo Cookies      75 calories each
Vanilla Oreo Cookies Mega Stuff:        90 calories each

Now if we assume that the cookie portion (which I don't like) is the same in each cookie, we can extrapolate that the "stuff" portion is roughly 20 calories (or less) in each cookie.

The Algebra of the Filling:

Total Calories in Mega Stuff cookies = M

Total Calories in Regular cookies = R

Total Calories in Doublestuff cookies = D

Amount of "double filling" = X

Amount of "regular filling" = Y

M - R = X

D - R =  Y

You didn't know there would be math, did you?

90 - 63 =  27 (X)

75 - 63 =  12 (Y)

We don't really know how much stuff they put in a double stuff, so I am going to assume that it is between 12 and 27 calories and call it twenty.

You know what, I can deal with 20 calories. I am going to ditch the cookie and just eat the stuff with my coffee. 

I had been eating eight double stuff, which is 600 calories, roughly half of my allowance for the day. If I just have the filling of one, which is all that I crave with my black coffee (they just go together somehow) then that is 20 calories.

I am hoping to just break the whole damned habit. I never liked the cookies until my husband suggested that I dunk them. One addiction at a time...

First Official Weigh In

My insurance requires five months of medically supervised dieting before bariatric surgery. Today my weight was 278 and my height is 5'7.5" putting my BMI at 42.9.

I've been swimming most days and walking some, too. I also log all of my foods on my fitness pal.