Pre-Op Weigh in and CBT

Today I weigh in with jeans and a shirt on, rather than my typical routine of weighing in naked. After all, I can't do that at my Lifestyle Weigh In Classes at the hospital.

Last time I was at 272 and so far I am down to 270 with another 11 days to go until my weigh in, but I might be weighed in on December 4th at the Dietician appointment.

I am hoping that I can get below 270 by my next hospital appointment.

On Monday I visit the psychologist for my evaluation. I hope that I pass without needing to get a letter from my other psychologist that I had been seeing.

Either way, I will work through whatever they require.

I did some cognitive behavioral therapy this morning when I realized that I had been worrying about the sleeve non-stop for the last two weeks. Here is a breakdown of the worksheet that I was doing:

What event scares you: Thinking about VSG.

Thoughts: 
I will be unable to lose the weight alone. 
I will become sick afterward
I am not really THAT fat.
I will regret the surgery?

Feelings:
Loser 50%
Scared 40%
Guilty 10%

Thinking Errors:
Jumping to Conclusions
Magnifying

Evidence for my Unhelpful Thoughts:
 Some people regain after VSG
Some people have complications after VSG

Evidence AGAINST my unhelpful thoughts:
In all things, including my 7 pregnancies, much of the results depend upon the outlook, follow through and  dedication of the person to what is suggested by the doctors.
I will go into surgery as healthy as possible. I will follow my doctors advice -- and I have been following it all these months.

Action:
Be active
Take supplements daily
Do as told post op.
It is in my hands has to how this VSG "tool" works. This is my chance.
Stop worrying.

New feelings:
Empowered 60%
Relieved 30%
Scared 10%

Downward Arrow Technique:

Distressing situation: I will not lose the weight, I will fail.

Thought: I will fail to lose the weight even with VSG.
What does this thought mean to me: I will never lose weight long term.
What does this thought mean to me: I can only lose so much and then I relapse.
What does this thought mean to me: I am a failure.
What does this thought mean to me: I can't do anything right.
What does this thought mean to me: I always quit.

Inner Belief: I always quit.

Thinking errors: Black and white thinking, overgeneralizing

Evidence against my inner belief:

• I have not quit my kids or my marriage
• I usually go full steam without moderation, but through journalling and using CBT, I am learning more moderation.
• There are things that I have quit, but mostly I have a lot of resolve.
• I have a better chance of NOT quitting with the sleeve.
• Everyone quits some things. I am human and addiction to foods, sugars, carbs is not simply a matter of will power, it involves brain chemistry and body chemistry. The sleeve gives me a fighting chance against these body reactions and an ability to retrain my mind and body through the period when the sleeve offers the most dampening of hunger.
• I realize already that my hunger will not magically disappear, therefore I am not looking at this as a magic wand.