My week so far.

I weighed in at the beginning of the week and had a startling gain, which made me question everything. I wanted to put it off as just water weight from a sneak attack period or the fact that the weigh in took place in the evening and I had been eating all day.

But I had to come to terms with the fact that my eating had really sucked lately. Every since the week before Halloween. Darn these holidays.

So I have mentally kicked my own butt and gotten back in the game. My dietician told me to eat fruits and veggies instead of sweets and that is what I have been doing. I am also really working much harder on keeping myself to 1400 calories than ever before. I have not made it every day, but I am way closer.

Tuesday I blew it, Wednesday I was under 1400, Thursday I was at 1500 and Friday I was on target again. Today I am doing well.

I have been packing my lunch daily, even if I am staying home. It helps me eat better during the long part of the day. I also bought some PB2 - google that stuff. Man, it is good when dipped into with baby carrots.

I know it's not a Reese cup. But it satisfies.

Not me. Do some squats today!

I have started doing some squats in the day - only 20 in the am and 20 in the pm, but I can REALLY feel the burn.

I am not doing squats that go very low, but I am getting my butt down parallel to knee level. My swim was interesting, because I could really feel the thigh burn. I felt stronger even though it hurt a bit.

My sleep is better, I am loving the CPAP. It has really worked for me. Sure, things bug me about it, but overall, I am not having headaches, I am sleeping better and I am sure that there is a lot less stress on my heart. I have dreams now that do not haunt me into the morning.

So that is where I am today.

Vaccinating with Carbs

Last night I had to go pick up dog food at the store, I was grumpy and cranky from having said NO to myself too many times. I was really hungry.

As I was shopping, I felt like buying the whole store, but I kept reminding myself that I have food at home. I even felt like going out for take out fast food just so that I could eat it in the car.

Why?

Well, when I am deprived, I tend to want to eat alone so that no one will see me, this is guilt and it is a sense of having to "succeed" in front of people, but to eat on my own alone.

I went home and had a decent meal. This morning I had a good breakfast.

When I get into "the zone" of dieting, when I am eating way too little for my body, I get nuts and rebound. I need to remind myself to be moderate.

This is so important. Moderation. I can have the bread.I just need to stop before I eat eight pieces. Carbs are not the devil if taken in moderation.

I think that eating some carbs is like vaccinating. You get some of what can kill you, but it's a little bit, rather than the full virus.

Remember that carbs are the only food your brain eats.